Interview

Well I met with a small local company yesterday that seemed like a real good fit for me.  Spent about 3-4 hours in the interview, met abut 8 people.  The position really matches my background well and I’ve never met such positive enthusiastic people in my life (or maybe it’s just that I’ve spent alot of time with my current company).  You forget sometimes how other people like their jobs and employers.  The last interviewer was real positive, said that they are real interested and want me to come back today to meet the CEO.  It so nice to have made such a positive impression on these folks and its great that they can see where and how my skills can help them.  I must say it’s very flattering to .  I’ve been the one conducting interviews for a long stretch there.  It was different to be on the other side of the table.

Well my fingers are crossed.

Courage to be happy

I’ve taken on a new mantra, Find the courage to be happy. Can’t say I came up with it, I heard it on the HBO series “Tell me you love me”.

I’ve internalized it to mean that I need to find a way to remove distractions in my life and make myself happy, thereby making my family (immediate and extended) happy. To that end I’m going to undertake the search for a new job. This current one is not making me happy on a variety of levels; Commute, direction and lack of involvement to name a few. I really, truly want to be a part of this company but for whatever reason I don’t feel like I am a part of it. I know I’m not the only that feels this way. So I have two options, talk to my supervisor or leave. Well I have talked with my supervisor about things I can do and have done and still I’m working on (what I call) trivial matters. I’m not in the meat of things like I used to be. It’s probably my ego being bruised but so what if it is. When you used to be the one running things, making decisions, being asked for input for seven years and then you’re removed and not included, how would you feel. The big turning point for me came after this past vacation we took. For the past seven years every time I have returned from vacation it was jumping back into the fire. This time I’m not even sure people knew I was gone.

Anyways, the courage to be happy means I’m looking for a new position that will better my commute and have me involved and excited again. If that means less pay, then we’ll have to see what we can live on, but I’m not ruling out going for less. My children are too young to have their father be a grumpy old man who leaves at 7 and comes home at 7. Alot of you may do this, but I’ve been fortunate for too long to not have to so I don’t feel I should have to start now. My happiness will mean my children’s happiness. Having their Dad home before they go to bed, to hang ou, play games, toss the baseball/football, work on homework, you get the picture. Why wouldn’t you want to do that? You had children, why not be there for them as much as possible and not just weekends (which is probably yard work or worse work work)?

I’m trying to find that courage to be happy and put myself into a better place. I challenge all everyone who reads this to do the same.

So Theo, find the courage to make Red Sox nation happy and sign Mike Lowell!!!!!!!!!!

Red Sox Win!!!

Twice in my life time, who would have thunk?!  Definitely not me, but I’m totally enjoying it.

Very happy to see Mike Lowell as MVP, though I think the whole team could have been considered.

What a great end to a fantastic season.

IMified

Found a very cool utility to update your blog call IMified. Essentially allows you to create blog posts through your IM client. Very cool. This post was authored using it. What a very cool concept. Hopefully this will allow me to update this blog more.

It’s been a long time since I rock ‘n rolled

Wow, that was an unexpected break. Our new work digs aren’t as easy to blog in.

Here’s where we are at:

Red Sox down 3-1 in the ALCS. They’re done. Indians in5 over the Rockies is my guess.

My job, what a mess. Instead of being involved with product I’m freaking documenting process. Seriously, I’m way too expensive to be documenting process. Defining sure, but physically writing up shit that others are doing. I truly wonder why I wasn’t part of the layoff. The issue I believe is because they have at least one other person who was doing very much the same thing as I and our boss will not say who is doing what. I haven’t got the nerve yet to ask him why he wanted me and didn’t lay me off, but I have asked others. “We want to build a team around talented people” is the standard reply. Well then use the talented people, numbnuts.

New Kid Rock album – I like it a lot. Less rap/hip hopish then his previous works, more rock which to me is more listenable.

New Alter Bridge album – alright – wish it was a Creed album (yes I like Creed). Even Scott Stapp’s solo album was better.

Work has been the big issue preventing me from writing. I cannot stand not being involved. As for my boss, well he’s what I call a stereotypical developer who became a CTO. He has all the social skills of a developer. Doesn’t always look you in the eye. I mean it seems like he knows what he is doing but man make some decisions and tell everyone what you want and how you want to set it up.

BTW – not a Led Zep fan, just thought the title was relevant to this post.

D-Day part 2

Well to day was the day.  We let go about 25% of our staff in an effort to get this new company going.  Luckily I’m one of the ones staying.  As much as I want to be energized about it, today I’m not.  We let go about six people in my area.  Most of them had about seven years with our company.  Some saw it coming, others didn’t.  It would personally stun me to be let me go like that.  Financially not too sure how I’d be but it would make for a very stressful time that’s for sure.

My hopes are with those we let go. 

Prayer

Dear God,

Please protect and bless my wife <her name>, son <his name>, daughter <her name> and our friend <dog’s name>.

Please protect and watch over my parents and all other immediate members of our family.

I thank you for the health and happiness of my wife, son, daughter and <dog’s name>.

Please forgive us for the sins we commit against ourselves and others.  Especially against you, dear Lord.

Please protect us from the sins others may try to commit against us.

I thank you for the continued support and strength you give us to achieve our goals and dreams.

Thank you. Amen.

This is the prayer I make every night as I lie down to go to sleep.  I say it in my head to myself.  I don’t consider myself a religious person but I feel this helps me.  When I was much younger I used to say a similar prayer and then after college I stopped.  I had stopped for many years for no real reason.  About three years ago we went through some hard financial and family issues and I started saying this little prayer.  All I can tell you is that things are much better financially and family relationships are improving.  I’m not to sure I agree with the concept of sins or not, but like I said saying this prayer makes things easier.  Perhaps its the repressed cry for help, I dunno but for now I will continue to say it every night.

D-day

Well I found out that this Friday we will see who is riffed, laid-off, downsized, etc… from our new company.  As much as I am confident about not being one of them, I cannot help but feel that I might be.  In the past I typically have known more than I do now, so maybe it’s the doubt creeping in.  It’s going to be an interesting week.  Friday should be memorable.  Hopefully it’s a positive memory and not a negative one.

Fear

You know every now and then I get hit with a wave of fear.  Nothing crippling.  More along the lines of uncertainity and I guess the fear of that.

What would I do if I lost my job?

What would happen if my mom or dad died (lucky enough to still have both)?

What happen to my children and wife if I die?  Or worse yet any one of them got hurt or died?

Perhaps this is normal as a Father and Husband?  It’s not like a dwell on it or am unable to do anything.

 Is this normal?

Red Sox – Yankees August 30th

After this past weekend I was ecstatic about the Red Sox and seeing how the bats came alive against the White Sox.  On Monday I was asking people, “Are the Sox bats that good or are their pitchers that bad?”

Having watched (and currently listening to the game) I have to believe that the White Sox pitching was that bad.  I mean come on Red Sox!!!  Two games in a row when you don’t get friggin’ hit number one till the 7th inning.  The Sox pitching wasn’t bad, but man the offense can really suck.  This is not a team that can survive in the playoffs. I hate to say it but I just did.  This team needs to show me alot more to make me believe that they could actually win the ALCS or anything else.