So like I said earlier I was re-reading some of my old posts.

Man I recall in Nov 2007 being very excited to start that new job.  Well 14 months later and I’m thinking I made a very large mistake.

The company is doing well and for the most part the people are great.  My issue is with the CEO/President.  He is truly the most unprofessional, manipulative person I’ve ever worked with and that’s how he treats his people.  He constantly says that what we do is easy and can’t understand why things take to long to build.  I can tell you.  It’s because we don’t have a complete understanding of what needs to be built.  Sure we have functional specs but they having huge holes in them every time (something is always missing or not elaborated on).  He over commits to deadlines without checking with anyone.  He breeds an atmosphere of “cover your ass”.  And how dysfunctional is a company that is ecstatic that the CEO is out of the office?  No one wants him there, we all walk on eggshells.

Sad thing is he thinks he’s this great motivator.  His VPs don’t want to even manage people.  How are you a VP and not able to manage people?  I want that job.

Biggest issue I have with him is that he believes if he can’t understand it, then it has to be wrong.  No!!!  If you don’t understand then we need to make sure you do before saying it’s wrong.  It’s not wrong by default.  How this guy ever made it to this position I do not know.  I could go on for days ranting about him.  So suffice to say I think I made a mistake.

I know I should be lucky to have a job in this economy.  My previous employer has done some layoffs and who knows if I would have been part of those.  I’m really frustrated that I jumped at the first opportunity and didn’t see this coming.  My friends tell me I couldn’t have seen it and not to beat myself up over it, but I can’t help myself in that regard.  I’m also frustrated that I’m not in the financial position to just quit.  I guess not many would be but again I think it’s something I did to myself.

Enough of that, I’m trying to maintain a positive outlook while I look for a new opportunity somewhere else.

Maybe I’ll get lucky and he’ll get hit by a bus.

Or I’ll get truly lucky and win the lottery.

I accepted the new company offer this AM.  So sometime between today and tomorrow I will give my notice.

It’s been a long time since I recall being this excited.  When I signed the papers this AM, they new company was very happy to see.  They told me how excited they are for my arrival.  I even rec’d an email from the CEO welcoming me aboard.  The atmosphere there seems to be what I need right now.

Even my children are happy that I’ll be closer to home.  Win, win all around.

Well that interview went extremely well and we’re working together on terms of an offer.  It looks like this will be it, after nearly a decade, 15 layoffs and two mergers I’ll be departing.  I’m real interested to see how the new management will handle my departure.  Will they kick me out the door with nothing or let me finish my notice time.  We’ll see.

This is the right thing for my family and myself.  The terms of the offer may not be exactly what I envisioned, but it doesn’t matter.  The courage to be happy is what matters.  The terms will not hurt my family and the intangibles make up the difference.  I will be more productive at work and more importantly happier at home.

After everything I’ve been through over the last 4-5 years I feel like I’m finally getting to a place where I can be happy.  But I’m also waiting for the other shoe to drop (that’s my nature).

Well I met with a small local company yesterday that seemed like a real good fit for me.  Spent about 3-4 hours in the interview, met abut 8 people.  The position really matches my background well and I’ve never met such positive enthusiastic people in my life (or maybe it’s just that I’ve spent alot of time with my current company).  You forget sometimes how other people like their jobs and employers.  The last interviewer was real positive, said that they are real interested and want me to come back today to meet the CEO.  It so nice to have made such a positive impression on these folks and its great that they can see where and how my skills can help them.  I must say it’s very flattering to .  I’ve been the one conducting interviews for a long stretch there.  It was different to be on the other side of the table.

Well my fingers are crossed.

I’ve taken on a new mantra, Find the courage to be happy. Can’t say I came up with it, I heard it on the HBO series “Tell me you love me”.

I’ve internalized it to mean that I need to find a way to remove distractions in my life and make myself happy, thereby making my family (immediate and extended) happy. To that end I’m going to undertake the search for a new job. This current one is not making me happy on a variety of levels; Commute, direction and lack of involvement to name a few. I really, truly want to be a part of this company but for whatever reason I don’t feel like I am a part of it. I know I’m not the only that feels this way. So I have two options, talk to my supervisor or leave. Well I have talked with my supervisor about things I can do and have done and still I’m working on (what I call) trivial matters. I’m not in the meat of things like I used to be. It’s probably my ego being bruised but so what if it is. When you used to be the one running things, making decisions, being asked for input for seven years and then you’re removed and not included, how would you feel. The big turning point for me came after this past vacation we took. For the past seven years every time I have returned from vacation it was jumping back into the fire. This time I’m not even sure people knew I was gone.

Anyways, the courage to be happy means I’m looking for a new position that will better my commute and have me involved and excited again. If that means less pay, then we’ll have to see what we can live on, but I’m not ruling out going for less. My children are too young to have their father be a grumpy old man who leaves at 7 and comes home at 7. Alot of you may do this, but I’ve been fortunate for too long to not have to so I don’t feel I should have to start now. My happiness will mean my children’s happiness. Having their Dad home before they go to bed, to hang ou, play games, toss the baseball/football, work on homework, you get the picture. Why wouldn’t you want to do that? You had children, why not be there for them as much as possible and not just weekends (which is probably yard work or worse work work)?

I’m trying to find that courage to be happy and put myself into a better place. I challenge all everyone who reads this to do the same.

So Theo, find the courage to make Red Sox nation happy and sign Mike Lowell!!!!!!!!!!